A Philosophy for Surviving the Chaos
There’s an old saying: “When given the choice between two evils, pick the one that’s funnier.” In a saner world, this might be a cute joke. But in modern America, where the political climate resembles an unmoderated reality show written by a malfunctioning AI, this phrase has evolved into survival wisdom.
Welcome to Abiscoridism, a philosophy built for times like these—where absurdity and chaos aren’t just academic concepts but our daily news cycle. It’s a worldview that acknowledges the inherent ridiculousness of existence, rejects toxic positivity, and refuses to be crushed under the weight of a system that demands we take it seriously while behaving like a bad improv troupe.
So how does abiscoridism apply to the current state of American politics? Let’s break it down.
1. The Absurdity of the System
Abiscoridism recognizes that the system is a joke—but it’s a joke with real consequences. Elections are treated like sporting events, policies are determined by which lobbyist buys the best steak dinner, and every few years, we’re given the “choice” between two competing brands of neoliberal despair. The entire system functions like an inside joke that the rest of us were never told.
- Billionaires hoard wealth while cities crumble.
- Corporations pretend to be our friends on social media.
- Political candidates treat voters like an annoying side quest before going back to governing in favor of their donors.
But abiscoridism doesn’t just stop at shaking its head in disgust. It laughs in defiance. Because once you recognize the absurdity, you stop expecting logic, fairness, or decency from a machine that was never built to provide them.
Instead of despairing, abiscoridism asks:
- How do you game the system instead of being gamed by it?
- How do you navigate chaos with both wit and strategy?
- How do you create real change without getting lost in the performative nonsense?
2. Toxic Positivity and the Weaponization of “Hope”
America’s political discourse loves toxic positivity. Every election cycle, we’re force-fed saccharine platitudes about “coming together” and “finding common ground” as if the problem is a lack of unity rather than a system designed to exploit.
Abiscoridism flat-out rejects this nonsense.
- You don’t have to hold hands with people who want you dead.
- You don’t have to smile through suffering.
- You don’t have to “just stay positive” when the world is burning.
There’s a difference between hope and delusion, and America’s political culture thrives on weaponized delusion—convincing people that if they just vote harder, ignore their material conditions, and “trust the system,” things will work out.
But abiscoridism is about clear-eyed rebellion. It refuses to be placated by empty rhetoric and instead asks:
- What can we actually change?
- How do we protect our communities when institutions fail?
- How do we resist, disrupt, and refuse to comply with systems designed to crush us?
Abiscoridism says we don’t owe false hope to a broken system. We owe each other solidarity, strategy, and an unrelenting sense of humor in the face of oppression.
3. The Dystopian Farce of American Politics
One of the core ideas of abiscoridism is that we exist in a pre-collapse dystopia that refuses to admit it’s a dystopia. Our leaders will gaslight us with a straight face, telling us that everything is fine as the climate collapses, wealth inequality skyrockets, and basic rights are stripped away.
But here’s the thing: dystopias are supposed to be terrifying. Ours is often hilariously incompetent.
- The richest nation on Earth can’t figure out public transportation.
- Senators born before the invention of color TV are making decisions about AI and climate policy.
- The Supreme Court rules on which rights we still have left like it’s a sadistic game show.
If you don’t laugh at the absurdity, it will crush you.
Abiscoridism refuses to be crushed. It embraces gallows humor as a weapon—not to ignore reality, but to resist it without losing yourself in despair.
- When politicians make bold claims about “saving democracy” while doing the bare minimum, mock them mercilessly.
- When billionaires tell you they deserve their wealth, remind them that feudal lords thought the same thing before the peasants started sharpening guillotines.
- When the system pretends it’s working as intended, point out the cracks and make sure others see them too.
4. The Abiscoridist Response: Strategy, Subversion, and Solidarity
So what does abiscoridism say we should actually do about all of this?
- Stop expecting the system to save you. It won’t. Invest in mutual aid, community resilience, and direct action over waiting for politicians to fix things.
- Weaponize humor. Satire, memes, and public mockery are powerful tools. The ruling class hates being laughed at—use that to your advantage.
- Be unpredictable. The system thrives on predictable opposition—break patterns, disrupt narratives, and make it harder for those in power to manipulate public perception.
- Reject empty hope. Hope is only valuable when it’s backed by action. If a movement or candidate is selling hope with no plan, it’s a marketing scam.
- Refuse to be crushed. The world is absurd. The system is broken. But despair is a trap. Laugh, fight back, and make sure you’re playing the game instead of being played.
Conclusion: Laugh, Rebel, and Refuse to Be a Pawn
Abiscoridism isn’t about giving up—it’s about seeing the world for what it is and refusing to let it break you. The American political machine thrives on fear, exhaustion, and division.
Abiscoridism counters with defiant laughter, cunning strategy, and an unwavering commitment to survival.
Because when the world is burning, corrupt, and ridiculous, the greatest act of rebellion is to stand up, grin, and refuse to be another cog in the machine.