We’ve all been there—staring down a situation we’d rather ignore, minimize, or gently push off a metaphorical cliff. Enter the ultimate conversation stopper: It is what it is. A versatile phrase for anyone looking to sidestep responsibility with grace (or a distinct lack thereof).
Here’s your handy guide to wielding this powerful phrase:
1. The Check Engine Gambit
When the dashboard lights up like a Christmas tree and your passengers glance nervously at you, confidently declare: It is what it is.
Translation: I have placed my faith in the automobile gods. If they demand sacrifice, so be it.
2. The Laundry Basket Maneuver
When faced with a mountainous pile of unwashed laundry threatening civilization itself, sigh philosophically: It is what it is.
Translation: Laundry is just Schrödinger’s responsibility. Maybe it gets done, maybe it doesn’t. Only time and questionable hygiene will tell.
3. The Passive-Aggressive Special
When asked why you didn’t reply to a three-day-old text, gently sigh: It is what it is.
Translation: I didn’t want to respond, and I’d prefer not to discuss it.
4. The Project Deadline Defense
Boss: Why isn’t this report done?
Maintain your zen-like composure: It is what it is.
Translation: It’s absolutely late, and I have no reasonable explanation—just acceptance of this harsh reality.
5. The Culinary Catastrophe Escape Clause
Dinner tastes oddly charred? Casually remark: Well, it is what it is.
Translation: Yes, I got distracted scrolling Instagram. No, I’m not apologizing.
6. The Political Exhaustion Technique
When friends eagerly debate chaotic political headlines you’re intentionally ignoring, casually shrug: It is what it is.
Translation: Reality is already a flaming garbage truck careening downhill. I’m simply opting out of riding shotgun.
The Abiscordian ‘It Is What It Is’ Hierarchy
Abiscordianism thrives on structured chaos, and It is what it is fits neatly within this beautifully absurd framework. Here’s how it aligns with our Five Tenets:
- Be Kind
It is what it is—the universe’s way of saying, Surprise! People are weird, and that’s part of the charm! Just like that one friend who insists on putting pineapple on pizza—embrace the chaos and laugh it off. - If you can’t be kind, be nice
It is what it is—code for acknowledging that people are as complex and unpredictable as a casserole—full of unexpected ingredients and occasionally too hot to handle. Accept quirks gracefully. - If you can’t be nice, be funny
Deploy It is what it is with humorous resignation, embracing life’s chaos with sarcasm (but not cruelty). Like when assembling IKEA furniture without instructions suddenly turns into modern art. - If you can’t be funny, shut up
Embrace silence like a cat who just knocked over a glass but refuses to acknowledge it. Whisper internally, It is what it is, savoring the underrated power of quiet awkwardness. - If you can’t shut up, go away
Loudly declare It is what it is, then backflip out of the conversation like an overdramatic stage magician. Bonus points if you leave behind a single glittering smoke bomb of indifference.
Embracing the Abiscordian Way
In a universe defined by chaos, absurdity, and questionable Wi-Fi connections, structured chaos is about as good as it gets. According to Abiscordian thought, our best response is a mix of dark humor and determined action.
From ignoring check engine lights to dodging political debates, It is what it is serves as a humorous shield against overwhelming responsibility. It acknowledges life’s randomness and our deeply human tendency to evade rather than confront its challenges head-on.
Yet, Abiscordianism does not advocate total avoidance. Instead, it invites us to recognize absurdity, laugh at our imperfections, and act deliberately when it truly matters. Humor is our reminder that perfection is overrated, life is messy, and sometimes, letting go is the healthiest form of control we possess.
So, embrace the absurd, smile knowingly at life’s chaos, and remember: structured chaos isn’t just inevitable—it’s precisely what makes life worth navigating. After all, sometimes it really just is what it is.
